“Just Be Careful”

“Just be careful” my mum says, as I step out of the door, walking to school by myself for the first time.
“Just be careful” my friend says, as I decide to wear a slightly low-cut top.
“Just be careful” my best friend says as I decide to go to a club.

Just be careful.

Why do I need to be careful? Why can’t other people control their actions? It is terrifying, walking through a dark street after a night out, but why should I have to feel afraid? Why shouldn’t an 18 year old woman be able to walk through the city at night without fear of being attacked?

This has been a topic that has been playing on my mind for a long time, and I’ve never known how to talk about it. ‘Slut shaming’ has become an increasingly popular topic of conversation online over the past few years, and nothing frustrates me more than seeing people commenting “she probably provoked it.”, or “The attacker isn’t in the wrong, she shouldn’t have been wearing that”. They clearly do not understand the type of society that we live in.
As a young woman, I should be able to go out with friends without being harassed by men and women aged 20+, I should be able to wear whatever I want to wear without being interrogated by grown men as I walk past. A lot of these problems are not ones that only I have gone through, but countless women around the world. Luckily I have not had anything happen to me physically, but the statistics are becoming alarmingly serious.  I live in the constant fear that someone is going to attack me and blame it on “what I’m wearing” or “what I said”.  I walk through places at night with keys hooked between my fingers ‘just in case’. No one should have to do that. No one should have to hobble a bit faster down a quiet street just to avoid being whistled at.

I’ve read dystopian novels that sum up the society we live in today, and frankly, that terrifies me. Just think about it. A dystopian novel, applying to modern life. ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ by Margaret Atwood is becoming increasingly accurate to attitudes towards women around the world, and in re-reading parts of the novel, I’ve highlighted parts of it that apply to things happening around the world today. Margaret Atwood said in a recent interview with The New York Times: “The Handmaids sit in a circle, with the Taser-equipped Aunts forcing them to join in what is now called (but was not, in 1984) the “slut-shaming” of one of their number, Janine, who is being made to recount how she was gang-raped as a teenager. Her fault, she led them on — that is the chant of the other Handmaids.” I was able to easily link this to some of the posts I have seen on Facebook, which horrified me. The idea of a society where women are shamed for things that are out of their control, because one person could not control their own actions, disgusts me.

In reading this article, I realised that being told to “just be careful” is a valuable, yet worrying piece of advice given to many people all over the world. Cherish the time you have, dress however you like, and live the best life that you can, while you still have the time to enjoy it.

Just Be Careful.

Link to the Atwood interview:https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/10/books/review/margaret-atwood-handmaids-tale-age-of-trump.html?_r=0