If I’ve learnt one thing in the last year or so, it’s that plans change. Whether it’s something as simple as deciding to go somewhere different to eat or something as daunting as changing career paths, things change whether you like it or not.
I think I’ve written before about how I am not a massive fan of change, whether good or bad, and honestly my opinion on change hasn’t altered drastically since I was 17. But in this last year, or more specifically, 8 months, I’ve had to come to terms with something I never really considered.
Puberty is a strange time for nearly everyone and judging by the amount of Netflix Originals based around the teenage experience, puberty is a time to discover who you are and who you are destined to be. Now, I thought I had managed to figure myself out by the time I had finished university last year. I was going to be a print journalist, with a specialism in food and food styling, living in Sheffield and going on to study for a teacher training degree. Now, in 2021, a few things have changed.
Yes, I’m living in Sheffield with my wonderful fiancè (which I still have to pinch myself about!) and I am working with food. But I am not a print journalist, I am not working towards a teaching degree and up until last week I had next-to-no clue about where I want to go in my life.
I recently got a job as a Chef-De-Partie in a lovely restaurant in the middle of Sheffield and although there have been the odd nights where I come home and cry, I can honestly say that I am really enjoying it. Working in a kitchen is something that I’ve done on and off since I was 16 so I feel somewhat comfortable there. Good colleagues, good food and the best part is that I am learning on the job! I still don’t know if being a chef is something I want to do for the rest of my life but for the time being, I’m happy where I am. Sure, it’s not an office job with sociable hours, but I still get to do something I enjoy, which can be rare.
Coming to terms with the fact that I hadn’t got a job in the field I have a degree in was not easy. Honestly, I’m still a bit disappointed with myself for not applying for different jobs in different fields. Up until this year, I thought of myself as still a young person, a bit teenager-esque just vibing through life, finding my way would be simple, right?
I am an adult now. An adult that pays tax, goes to work, does the food shopping, goes out for lunch with friends to eat rather than just get drunk on cocktails and complains about my back. I realised that I have to say bye to the Skye that used to go out until 3am, to the girl who could just go and visit her family without worrying about the consequences and booking time off work, and face myself as who I am becoming and who I am destined to be.
I know this all sounds a bit wishy-washy but trying to get these thoughts written down is just as strange for me as it is for you. I may occasionally have instant noodles for dinner and desperately try to look cool by saying I watch TikTok videos but I am an adult now and this is just the way it has to be.
I mostly like who I am and I am grateful for all the experiences I have had and people I have in my life, because without all of them, I wouldn’t be the woman that I am today.
Also, a big thank you to Cath for both guilting me and encouraging me to get back into writing again- I owe you some wine x